Inbox: Atsushi Nakajima

[beneathmoonlight]

Atsushi Nakajima

Atsushi Nakajima here! Sorry I missed you! Please leave a message or voicemail and I’ll get back to you ASAP! ^_^

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[lienhearts]

[...]

Do you know what the word "acting" even means?

[beneathmoonlight]

Of course I do!!!

I just don’t get it!

Even if you’re acting, why are you so grumpy outside of that role?

[lienhearts]

Because people are annoying?

Because it's more profitable to be someone else?

[Because he's got a giant chip on his shoulder still?]

That's like me asking you why you're so cheerful on the outside all the time

[beneathmoonlight]

On the outside?

[lienhearts]

You're not the only one hearing thoughts.

[beneathmoonlight]

Oh.

Sorry, Theo-kun. I didn’t mean to be rude.

[lienhearts]

[Wow, not even any kind of flustered reaction. There's another pause between texts and, with some exasperation, he finally responds:]

You want to talk about it?

[He doesn't even know why he's bothering. But at the same time, he can't just not.]

[beneathmoonlight]

There’s not much to say.

I’m not confident like you, Theo-kun.

And I’m constantly messing things up.

[lienhearts]

Messing up like how?

[beneathmoonlight]

I ended up lying to a friend while I was trying to make them feel better...

Luckily he forgave me, but still.

[lienhearts]

Am I missing something here?

How big of a lie are we talking about?

[beneathmoonlight]

I made them think I agreed with them on something when I really didn’t.

It sounds small, but to me it was huge.

But it’s not like I’m a miserable person or anything.

I’m lucky to be where I am.

[lienhearts]

...Yeah people lie all the time

To pretty much everyone else. Bosses, coworkers, friends, family. Even if you don't mean to, sometimes it's easier to lie than tell the truth.

Anyway, what does luck have to do with being happy?

[beneathmoonlight]

I guess.

The life I’ve built for myself only happened because I got adopted.

I dunno where I’d be right now if not for that.

So for me that luck equals happiness.

[lienhearts]

[...Adopted...?

Something's just on the verge of clicking there, and he frowns as he types out his response.]

Sure it's a lifechanger

But getting lucky once doesn't mean being happy for the rest of your life

Getting lucky a thousand times doesn't mean you'll never be unhappy

[beneathmoonlight]

I guess so.

I’m still happy that I got adopted, though.

It’s changed my life for the better, even if it’s not always perfect.

I can say I’m happy here. At least most of the time.

[lienhearts]

Then don't lie and try to act like everything's fine when it's not

If things are working out, great

But don't get too caught up in your act or it'll eat you alive

If your friends can't take a little disagreement, tough shit

[beneathmoonlight]

[That...makes a lot of sense, actually. Who knew Theo had sage advice?]

Theo-kun

Thank you :)

[lienhearts]

I don't want to hear those kinds of thoughts either

The best way to fix it is to fix your mindset

[Tsun.]

[beneathmoonlight]

[You can’t fool him, Theo. You care.]

I’ll try my best.

And I won’t tell anyone your secret, promise.

[lienhearts]

You'll regret it if you do

[TSUN.]

Why are you even so hard on yourself anyway?

[beneathmoonlight]

Ah.

Mainly because I just wanna prove I’m useful.

I went through several foster homes, but nobody ever wanted to keep me.

Not until I found my adoptive father.

[lienhearts]

[...Foster homes...

He's starting to remember. It's a thought that he never fully pushed from his mind, halfheartedly grasping at those faded memories while shamefully wondering if it wasn't better to forget, for all the good it did him or any of his siblings - those other kids, the ones he hardly knew yet so foolishly attached himself to. It wasn't as though he were ever going to do anything to find them, and even if he ran across them, what was there to do?

...He's starting to realize he may just need to actually figure that out, and soon.]

Yeah?

What's he like?

[beneathmoonlight]

[Meanwhile Atsushi is completely oblivious.]

He’s very kind, in his later years, and owns a bakery.

I’ll always be grateful to him for adopting me.

[lienhearts]

[...]

Same place as where you work or somewhere else?